In Death Distancing: Chhutkaku
17 February is Chhutkaku’s birthday, Shri Ranjit Dasgupta, many remember him as Captain for his moustache even though he was never in the army. Chhutkaku my Baba’s youngest brother was not youngest sibling as Chhoto was younger to him. Pishi used to say everyone will grow up but not Bunuaa, our Chhoto, that was her name and Chhutkaku is Bhaiyaa. People in my understanding never die as not just me, we (the whole family) continue to remember them. A lot of my memory about Chhutkaku is hearsay and photos. He was 11 or maybe 12 when I was born. There is photo somewhere — me, a chubby smiling baby, maybe six months and he standing in his shorts carrying me. He and Monikaka my other Uncle, used to take me around on their cycles; throw me up in the air and catch me; Chhutkaku taught me to wink; when my sisters and me could be taken out together he took us to our first Movie — English — Moby Dick (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0049513/) — I only remember a huge fish and lots of water of the film and do not remember what age I was when I went to see it; as Monikaka died when I was four (https://medium.com/@bula1957/is-death-distancing-aa27335dabc), Chhutkaku did all that was possible, probably his share too; there is a photo we call ‘Bhoot Bangla’ (ghost house) of him and four of us huddled together around a pole near Bhedaghat; a few friends of his would come home and they were his extensions for us; he also taught me English chummi (kiss) with no sexual connotation!
We sisters could not go for his marriage but we had our fun decorating the old ramshackle house with paper cuttings. Our Kaki became our family the day she came. We got extremely angry when another woman sat next to her. I cannot fathom now the children’s point of view, as we were kids then. I was the most grown up in class nine and Shim was in third.
We sisters remember the time with a lot of joy when Chhutkaku and Kaki had come to stay with us for having their first born. We relish the early morning of 30th April 1970 when Chhutkaku came to inform that Tublu was born. Kaki came with little Tublu and they stayed with us for a few days which seemed eternity to us. Kaki remained Baby to Amma. Even when Amma had the stroke she remembered her Baby when she did not remember her own children.
As I have grown up with him I took his evergreen youth for granted. Once we crossed each other in a busy market road of Jabalpur. He was with Kaki and the kids and I do not remember who I was with. As it was a sudden meeting Chhutkaku and I, getting down from our respective transports, hugged each other in the middle of the road without any concern for blocking the considerate Jabalpur traffic who were enjoying two firangi (Foreigners — we are too fair to be considered Indians) hugging each other.
Amma was very fond of Chhutkaku and Chhoto as they were kids when she got married, as they replaced her own little brothers and sisters. Kakamoni was her friend confidant. When she went out with Shim, my sister in Philadelphia she wanted to buy Yardley powder and it amazed Shim. Amma shyly said that it is for Bhaiya, he loved powder as a kid and she could never buy for him.
I remember Kamla Bua being as close to him as all his sisters. She told me how he had reached for her daughter’s wedding and performed all rituals to be performed by Mama (mother’s brother). Kamla bua lived in the adjacent home and she and Etu studied together. As an adult I to know that she was not my father’s sibling!
As I still grew older ok a little more mature one day I saw Chhutkaku in an amazing light. I had been to my brother’s home in Jabalpur. Babu is Lapishi my aunt’s son so supposedly cousin. But we sisters cannot imagine our life without him. Babu’s daughter Mini was a little baby then, a peaceful happy child. We were just chatting when Chhutkaku came. Within a blink Mini changed. She was a different child altogether, full of untold energy and vigour dancing away to glory with Chhutkaku, her grandfather. The thought dawned on me, that, I have got my ‘where angels fear to tread’ attitude, from him. I feel all children should have at least one Chhutkaku in their lives.
I am wondering at how much Chhutkaku is part of my existence without me being aware of it. I think it is the same with all my sisters and brothers. For few he is Chhotomamu. All of us have equal ownership of him which is unique to each one of us.
