Mummy presumed, for reasons beyond my comprehension that my first child would be born on 7 February 1973 and since she had fathomed that I was blissfully ignorant of the rigmaroles of childbirth, she had come before her presumed designated date. I got to know of her presumptions when she read Daddy’s letter to me as he was suggesting how many more days she planned to stay in Bombay for my delivery. She was stunned when I told her that the delivery would not happen before 20 March. I told her that the doctor’s table had a chart by which I had calculated the date counting the weeks after I missed my menstrual cycle. Incidentally, it was she who had told me I was pregnant after religiously asking me whether I had got my periods. I found it quite strange that she would ask me, as my mother never did even once. Obviously, I had no clue what the relation was of periods and pregnancy! She hesitantly told me to convey to my mother that I was going to have a baby. At that time, I wondered for a few seconds ‘how come’ and since I did not get any answer, I let it go happily. Mummy was very happy with me as her daughter-in-law and bestowed her love and affection on me liberally. She asked me where I would want the delivery to happen and suggested that they would have babies in their place. When I said it was absolutely fine, she was elated and as an afterthought and out of consideration for me, she suggested that I call my mother. I did not see the need why two women should be occupied for a single delivery and told her that I was fine if she would come. She enjoyed taking me with her and loved coming to Bombay. Didi was staying in Bombay, which was also a factor.
Mummy decided that the child would be born in Bombay. That is how she came prepared but her calculation of the date was way off the mark. The unborn child’s name was decided in advance as Punu. Punu is a mythical lover in Sindhi folklore and there are songs on the love story of Punu and Sasai. Punu was named by Ashok, his father when he was himself a child listening to the song. Mummy had made it known to everyone in the family about the naming. Daddy being a doctor had sent me two picture postcards of beautiful babies. When Mummy came she was a bit upset with a beautiful bust of Ajanta as it was a dark complexioned woman. She was happy with the ghee which I had been making, as that was the only thing she could not get to feed me after the delivery. She had got ample mixed dry fruits, also edible gum which is good for women for recovering from the stress on the various joints during labour pain.
As the days passed Mummy’s patience was on tenterhooks. On 19th March she asked me if I would take castor oil. I did not know then what it is meant for but said yes. It causes loose motions which in turn activates labour pains. So on 20th full day I had loose motions. As Mummy knew it was my birthday she got lovely boondi laddoos to celebrate which I had inspite of loose motions. She had given me instructions that whenever my labour pains start I should tell her, wake her up if need be. Next morning at 4.00 when I woke up with labour pain I duly informed Mummy. She was patient with me as she guided me through the process beyond her capacity, which I realized only when Amma (Didi, my sister-in-law’s mother-in-law) came to hospital much later. She said I should time the labour pains, after how much time they come and last for how long. When I told her that the pains were after twenty minutes she assured me there is lot of time but whenever the pains come I should push downwards as the pushing done for doing potty. In the meanwhile in between the pains she asked me to sweep and mop the two rooms, activities that are helpful for labour, take bath, arrange a bag for myself, have breakfast and then we proceeded for the nearby Ajinkya hospital where a lot of children had been born in Didi’s family. It was like a family hospital.
Nothing happens coincidently, the universe works to provide requirements. In that process Bade Jijaji (Didi’s Husband) had left his car so we could go comfortably. The car was Standard 10, an unusual car, the name I could not remember so had to ask my nephew! Well on 21st March Ashok drove Mummy and me to the hospital at 8.30 a.m. The hospital was barely 5 to 7 minutes away. I did not see Ashok after he dispatched us at the hospital. Mummy waited by my side till Amma reached hospital around noon. I glimpsed relief on her face and inspite of the state I was in, it dawned on me that she was keeping up a brave front for my sake. Amma took over and remained with me even in the labour room. There was some chaos after some time and Dr. Ajinkya was summoned. When I hesitantly asked the Resident Doctor why he was being asked to wait, she smiled misunderstanding my query and assured me that doctors do not have gender. The following events clarified the situation as the baby’s head was not coming out Dr. Ajinkya had to use forceps to pull him out at 1.38 p.m.
I do not remember seeing the baby then as I was too sleepy. I had asked my mother when I was ten if she had fainted when I was born. My query must have been as a result of some vague comment. What I distinctly remember is my mother’s glowing face when she assured me that she definitely did not faint and she had seen me born. Her expression had seen to it that I would not have any apprehensions of childbirth. My mother-in-law’s teaching got me through the physical aspects. I was still not socialized to being a mother thankfully. When I woke up in the evening the nurse got the sleeping baby nicely wrapped I was wondering ‘now what’! I requested the nurse to keep the child next to me. This independent first child of mine has helped me to remain a mother without any expectations of myself or from him. The name ‘Punu’ stuck with him even when his father and I decided to name him Rahul. So the world knows him as Rahul Asani.
Today on his birthday I have written only how he was born. There are endless aspects which remain to be covered later….
